When Life Changes Cause Grief
Death of a loved one is the most significant loss you can experience. However, there are other types of life experiences that also involve loss. People are often surprised at, or unprepared for, their reactions to certain life changes. Often you don’t realize that change involves loss. Regardless of whether a life change is for the best or not, loss may be a component of the event. Thus, understanding certain life situations or challenges within the context of loss can be helpful.
A change in job or life situation can be an exciting opportunity, but it can also be accompanied by loss. Anger, fear, sadness, confusion, feelings of depression or anxiety are not unusual as one adjusts to a new life stage, event or circumstance.
Common life events that involve an aspect of loss and that can trigger feelings and reactions similar in kind, but of less intensity, to those who are grieving include:
Job. Whether a promotion, career switch, termination or retirement, it can mean change or loss of your familiar routine, friends and colleagues, known expectations and resources.
Home. Even a positive change such as moving to a bigger house can mean loss of stability, routine, neighbors and resources.
Marital status. Going from single to married life or married life to divorce can bring change and loss of way of life, income, social network, self-image, expectations or dreams, independence and resources.
Stage in life. For example, going from high school to college or from being a full-time mother to a part-time worker can mean change and loss of security and familiarity, friends, predictability, resources, identity and dependency.
When going through any of these loss experiences, it can be beneficial to attend to your own reactions and to those of the other people affected by the change. It can help to realize the significance of the change with respect to feelings of loss, giving yourself time to accept the loss and adjust to the change.
By Robin F. Goodman, PhD, ATR-BC
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