Coping With the Suicide of a Loved One
For most of us, we will never fully understand what causes people to feel such emotional pain that they take their own lives. The suicide of a loved one, friend or coworker can leave us with feelings of helplessness and confusion. Following a death, we all experience the grieving process to greater and lesser degrees. The grieving process, however, may be much different when someone commits suicide because of the unexpectedness and shock of the situation. Following a suicide it is important to realize the common thoughts and feelings that survivors may experience in the aftermath.
Guilt
It is not uncommon for individuals to express guilt after the suicide. Self-blame takes the form of "I should have known something was wrong" or "Why didn't I do something to prevent his suicide." Unfortunately, many people commit suicide and many never display outward signs of depression. Although there may have been subtle warning signs that someone was in need of help, most people are not naturally focused on the warning signs of impending suicide.
Shock, denial, anger, depression
Additionally, people typically react with shock and perhaps denial. These emotions may then turn towards anger due to the senselessness and perceived selfishness of suicide. Many people will experience some level of depression or sad feelings and, eventually, acceptance of this tragic event.
Thoughts of mortality, anxiety
Often the death of someone will lead us to ruminate and think about our own mortality and perhaps our own past thoughts of suicide. Moreover, this may serve as an emotional trigger and reminder of the death of someone else close to us.
Another response that survivors may share is the excessive concern for other loved ones. This may take the form of anxiety, worrying or thinking negative thoughts when the phone or doorbell rings. Finally, some may even experience nightmares or frequent daydreaming; however, this typically will pass in a short period of time.
Learn to identify the signs and symptoms of suicide, and in doing so acknowledge your own thoughts and reactions. If you are attempting to adjust to the tragic loss of a loved one, you may want to seek professional help. The toll-free phone number on this site is a good place to start.
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